Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Dearest god....it has been long time since i last blogged..
many things come and goes... yes.. juz like felicia sae.. our life is like a bullet train... that have a designed path for us... that we should be grateful...caz u plan for us...god... i realli realli veri grateful for everything that u hab given me...
my life stop at the first station of the yr... door are soon to be closing.... but sharp pain will be carrying it wif me.. but we realli witness the death ... i always asked... y david.... y him... he is such an awesome brother... he is still young.. y muz he suffered ...things that i thought there isn t an reason.. or answer... but... i think is god plan tat is happen like tat... his parents start studying bible.. brother make a pact to be like him... his awesome faith to god.. moved me... touched me.... everydae i prayed... hoping tat there is alittle bit of hope... chance.. tat he could live.. longer... ~.. his being will be erased from the world.. but he will not be forgotten by the church.... by us.. by me... the door is closing... things still move on... the train is still moving fast...
my brothers whom i thought was close to us.. will remember us as their next kin... not anymore.. they are taking my parents for granted... i wan 2 hate them so so much... but... i kept thinking... they are my brothers...y r they like that... y are they so different .... from others... y they dun treasure or cherish things... family... y they care so much of themselves.. of money... of short pleasure... of frens... of the world...the house.. seems so clean... so neat... but.. so empty.. so lonely... so dark... where are they... when we need them... where are they.. when we called for them.. they complained that they hab no freedom... they complained tat they hab no money.. they complained.. they rather stay at my aunt house.. they complained that because of my parents they can t be independent enough... craps... full of craps... blaming others not searching their own souls... wad are they blabbering about... how much more my parents hab to suffered for them.. their insensitive acts.. foolishness... how much more they hab to take in... i always asked.. if is my parents faults... y m i not like them..y i didn t complain abt freedon.. money.. independent... and y i didn t leave home... is the answer realli abt my parents or juz them.. pushing blames... how long more...
if either of my parents or both went to heaven... will they still be thinking this... mummy always sae one dae they will go.... and how long both kor kor will wake up...i realli dunno... i only can looked at my mum eyes and tell her tat i dun wan her to go... i realli dun wan... i realise that.. i always rely on them.. i love them so much...
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