Monday, April 30, 2007
Dearest father... Sharon realli love u.... haha... well monday is the nono day for me... after weekends so tired how to deal with mondays... todae.. acounting lesson.. teacher siti call me to write on the board the double entry concept.. as in.. like question den write... i realli realli dun wan... den when i went up.... putting a brave act.. which i m not... den suddenly... i dunno how to write.. wad to write... suddenly blank .. like as if stage fright feeling.. u c ppl staring yet.. u dunno wad to do.... i ask for help.. but in no valid... lol.. either they blur or dun wan 2 help.. den licia and frens help me abit... den i realli dun get it.. y i stand there den forget everything... is juz writing.. den my heart beat veri fast.. i even feel my heart beats... siao... i m nervous.. even standing up there... omg.. but y.... so scary..... ahhhh....
my dear jasmine... i wonder how is she... juz removed her forth nail due to un forseen circumstance ... den she sae she was feeling giddy.. scare me.. heng her mum ask her to take a cab home.. i realli hope she is aright...
shoot.. y... my neighbour kids above us keep stamping their feet... i can hear lor.. hello... every time like that.. not tired meh... i hear oso tired for them.. no nosiy... ai ya.. they hor... unfathomable ...
ytd... i went to imh to visit my special frens... some still remember me... wave at me.. shake hand wif me... so touched once again... though sweats flow like mad... but by looking at their smily face everythings isn t that important.. when i was told to dance wif my special fren.... lol.. i gladly join him... twist and turn... dance like small kid.... didn t bother or care abt the surrounding... juz dance... because i enjoy it with them... we gave them food... we played games... i realli enjoy myself... and i knw they enjoy all of us... they ask.. y we so long never come ... they rememberd us.. they do... i realli love all of them.. for who they are.. to me.. they are normal.. and i m realli glad i can do a part to serve ..to be wif them... to share my joy wif them.. to forget abt skool work...the world... but juz focus on them.. and being encouraging...i thank my special frens... indeed they are special in my heart..
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Dearest father...todae is the dae... bible talk.. so looking forward... i dunno y.. is juz different... but.. i hab no friends... 12 ppl rejected me... haha... either gt work... or hab plans already.. or clash with other stuff... so looking forward.. .=(den so cooll... when i was walking.. toward the cafe.. den saw Aaron...and fren... haha.. den started talking den like we knw each other so well.. hahahaha. den ask him wan 2 join me.. but he can t... his fren need his pro advice in buying stuff... *right.. lol.. den hab alot of fun... haiz.. how i wish my frens is here...
starting of skool.. starting of basic accounting.. yet i m strangled my accounting.. i dislike math.. i dislike ..
everyone has an invitation from god... but not everyone wants to turn up... not everyone thinks the invitation in more important den things around them...
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Dearest Father
... what m i thinking... wad do i realli wan.. y m i thinking of things that will torn me apart... i knew it but pictures kept flashing in my mind.. do i long for things that i m not suppose to hab... do i long for relationship that it will affect my studies.. do i long for sth bad to happen so tat my brothers will reflect... curse my mind...
studies... accounting.. help me.. drowning wif math haha... i realise sth.. i cannot cannot cannot cannot afford to miss any lesson.. or i will lag behind... i will die... veri terrible.. i miss 10 minutes of lesson due to un forseen circumstances ... i abit lost.. when teacher go on.. terrible sharon terrible...
jia you.. jia you.. tml c all of them .. i happy.. meeting jasmine tml... st.. and ask her accounting.. lol.. jia you.. hougang jian... sharon jia you.. come on come on..
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Dearest father... another day have passed...concession is ending... fridae is coming... sharon is happy haha... so looking forward... BUT....so discouraged... intotal 7 ppl rejected me for the bible talk... some work.. some go out... some juz sae not interested...y..... peiling jiejie tml cum my skool... haha... tml start skool at 1.. so late... but good.. in a way.. i guess... so tired.. went home.. take a short nap.. ltr muz study... accounting... is the root of my problem... either i need time to disgest.. of i can t understand..
E1 work + E2 quit = My brothers
E1 quit + E2 work = My brothers
E1 + E2 x (both no money yet go out) = My brothers
Daddy = E1+E2 x (ahmad dat drive them Tuas to Punggol)
ok ... i m sorry.... quite dumb...
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Monday, April 23, 2007
Dearest Father... still trying to apdat to skool.. is hard... yet.. i muz jian zhi dao di..realli.. my skool is juz fashion parade... haha... even guys hair cover the face like mad... oso live wif it.. i realli wonder.. haha... k todae skool.. peace... haha... study study study.. jia you sharon...
my brothers... what should i sae.... my older brother.. he think his life mess up.. den blame my mother... den make me n her cry..... haiz... i dunno... i realli dunno what he realli think... awhile pack his clothing go aunt house stay.. awhile ask my father fetch him home.. caz he argue wif my brother fren... like... den dun wan 2 work.. wad is his problem i realli hab no idea... well..
i realli need to pray abt it... hey wonder how is gwen paper haha.. den licia bf paper oso.. wonder.. haha...
sisters... why never call me .... ytd.... y like tat..
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Dearest father... ha... so glad.... haha.. realli realli thank you.. for everything... i never do qt ytd... todae muz do.. veri tired... but oso.. i slack at home.. that y... heng tml skool 1 pm start.. which i hab no idea y so late... but ya.. haha.... aiyo.. plastic bag now 10 cent... todae with my brother go fairprice buy some stuff for mum to cool hokkien mee/prawn mee... ya... den 10 cent one.. good also lor.. caz is good to recycle... muz veri veri realli veri inconvience... my house dustbin put plastic bag.. now dun ha how.. put paper bag meh.. ...
what do i really wan... why studies to me suddenly drift away... so fast... so far.... where is my motivation....where is my determination ..
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Dearest Father...school.. still adapting to this fashion parade school of mine..wad a struggle... yes.. indeed a stuggle... branded bags dat look like fake wan haha.. den makeup so thick... is like the amount of clay u style ur hair.. is like.. aiyo... so so .. wad a struggle... everythings seems amiss... everythings like... isn t the same anymore... last yr i m look forward... den skool always seems fun.. now i felt different..
5 mths plus never go school... the lifestyle so different....well... now is like...so tired everydae... haiz..everytok in school i realli wan 2 sleep haha....
waad a struggle... i pray so much that i wil not be so tempted in every way...
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Dearest father... everything that i thought.. that i seen.. is wrong.. all wrong... ytd... me and my brother tok in the car... i told him i wan 2 knw everything.... everything... and though my parents are in the car.. but are told to kept quiet... ha... so well.. it was all settled... and i m glad... all the money issue... they never bet on soccer... onli hp bills are not their.., is their fren... caz the fren use my bro name to sign... my brother sign for him.. like always kana cheated wan... any way.. i thank god that my harden heart frm my brothers.. beginning to soften ... and love them even more.. and wanting to protect them even more... because they are my brothers...
i enjoyed alot fellowshipping with the sisters... we gonna plan for spiritual hangouts... design a shirt juz for us.... and gonna write love letter to god... and throw in to the veri wide sea.. lol..
well school starting.. but ya... i realli pray hard that i will not be affected in anyway.. i realli hope to rely more to the sisters.. and god... ya..
my father... haha... make new fren with the neighbour parents... den so qiao the father love to play guitar den rite now.. this moment.. my father and my neighbour father playing guitar... lol.. so cute... the young couple went to US for 3 years.. so the parents stay beside us.. so cute.. haha
k i dun deny that i am not looking forward to skool.. haha... in fact.. i miss skool... lol
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Father... i'm sorry.... i should not argue with my brother so hard... that need my father to break us up... i juz could not swallow it.. i juz can t ... why my father hab to work so hard... den pay for their stupid bills... 1 paper 200 plus.. 1 paper 300 plus.. 1 pap er 400 plus.. when muz this go on...den my older brother... full of pride... say...i hab my own way... i should not hab told u... i realli hate my brother... treat the house like hotel... rot themselves at home.... why whatever we say never go through their big fat hollow brain...they disappoint us so many time...
when my second brother argue with me so much dat he say because i regard u as my sister i will not slap u... if others i would....to me... juz slap.... wad rights do he have.. what i say is wrong?... den point out... why muz they keep saying it does not involved me... juz because i m the youngest...i am just protecting my father.. is it wrong... you dug your own hole.. find your own way out... why must drag the other.. others that are close to you.. related to you.. when mum was sick... where were you.. wad u do.... when dad being promoted and wan 2 celebrate wif you .. where were you.. wad u do... when dad need you where were you... wad u do... when we went to giant suppose to be family outing.. where were you.. wad u do....
he fetch you from point to point whether is night or midnight.. whether he need to work the next day.. he still fetch you... he give you money n paid your bills... he clothe you he feed you... he paid for your laptop.. he paid for your computer... he paid for everything you need... he paid for your mp4..
why keep taking them for granted....
If my tears would convey how hurt i m... to see you torturing daddy and mummy... my tears will be juz like ocean ....
Sunday, April 08, 2007
this pictures are realli long ago.. gosh... copy shawn pics... so nice.. lol.. because got me.. lol
Dearest heavenly father..when we are troubled when we are sad when we are blame for things... we never once think of you... when we once bitter inside... when we once being so insecure inside .. we never once think of you... when we are being prideful... when we are angry.. we never once think of you.... But.... when we are hurt... you heal us..... when we felt faithless u strengthen us with your powerful message.... when we are prideful you rebuked us... when we envy...lied...having evil thoughts.... u forgive us and hopping that we will repents... everything is enough for me to love you with all my heart all my soul and all my strength.... i love u..
being a christian... they had expectation... ...we cannot make mistake... for they will question wad kind of christian are you.... but.. they didn t knw.. we r ppl.. human tat make mistakes.. are willing to repent.. or rather... change...
Jesus love the little children... all the children of the world... red and yellow black and white.. they are precious in his sight.. jesus love the little children of the world..
aiyo.. this song is simply so cute...
my sisters... u rejoice i rejoice ... u weep i weep... u felt unresolved.. i will be troubled..
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Dearest heavenly father...have i been avoiding you... or have i been avoiding myself... many questions kept popping up like porncorns....tml is my last dae of work.. i shall sae... FINALLY... after so long.. well..2 mths plus haha
am i resolved.. ha..
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